So Long to Seizures!

This week Termite is starting on the Modified Atkins Diet for Seizures.  He is supposed to be eating less than 10 grams of carbs a day.  To start with, I am shooting for 20 grams.  This is what he has eaten so far today:  a few grapes (3 g), 1 egg scrambled with heavy whipping cream and some cheddar cheese (1 g), heavy whipping cream mixed with water as a no-carb substitute for milk (0 g), a Wendy's double stack with cheese but no bun (1 g), pickles (0 g), 4 hotdogs (0 g), 10 goldfish crackers (4 g).  Still to come is dinner - tortilla-less tacos with cheese, sour cream, lettuce and salsa.

I also fixed some low carb fried chicken today.  This is chicken thighs, dipped in butter and an egg, rolled in crushed pork rinds, and fried in oil.  It tastes really good.  Really good.  Like my Paula Deen cookware?

Termite has a less common type of epilepsy that is notoriously uncontrollable with medication. He has about 20 to 30 seizures a day.  Most of them are small and all of them are short lived, but some of them can knock him over and all of them disrupt and damage his brain.  He is on the highest dose of this third anti-seizure med, and the next med on the horizon for him is a benzodiazepine.  I'm not too thrilled about the idea.  I am also not too thrilled that his recent neuropsychological report says that a contributing factor to his cognitive delay could be the "long-standing use of AEDs (anti-epileptic drugs)."  So the drugs that are supposed to be helping him have less seizures may be messing up his brain in other ways?  Seriously?

I'm very hopeful about this diet.  The reasoning behind MAD (and also the ketogenic diet - the original anti-seizure diet) is this - for people with seizures, carbs are not good brain food.  Our bodies have basically two sources of energy - carbohydrates and fat.  Check out the new MyPlate campaign by the USDA.  The recommended "healthy" diet here is the US is heavy on carbs (grains, rice, fruits, and vegetables), moderate on protein, and low in fat.  In fact, "fat" isn't even on the plate at all. 

But the brain can burn fat for energy just as well as carbs.  In fact, there is something about burning fat for energy that is inconsistent with seizure activity.  In fact, it's so good for the brain that, in some people, the diet actually "heals" the brain.  After two years on the diet, many people are able to return to a normal diet and remain seizure-free or maintain an acceptable level of seizure control.  Here's hoping.  Until then, my grocery cart will be filled with lots of eggs, cheese, and pork rinds.

I'm no expert so for more information dietary interventions for seizures, check out  Dr. John Freeman's book "Ketogenic Diets: Treatments for Epilepsy and Other Disorders" and the Modified Atkins for Seizures website.

You won't be seeing that around here

A recent blog post I read included a cookie recipe with the following ingredient: "2 1/4 cups flour (I prefer fresh ground)"

Ummm . . . no.

Changes

Making some changes around here. Blogwise, my 19 year old is now The Fledgling. My 12 yo didn't like Baby Girl, even though it's what her Daddy calls her, so we are going to try out Graceful. My 9 yo little man is now Mister. This is a kid who brings me the grocery store circular and points out the good sales. He is awesome. Also I heard a rumor from other kids that he referred to me as his mom yesterday on the bus. Yea! He's been back in my home since this summer, and this time, he's a keeper!

On the home front, The Fledgling moved out yesterday. Somewhat of a mutual parting of the ways. He definitely wanted more freedom though he's hesitant about the responsibility that comes with that. Time will tell if he truly believes that being out of the house doesn't mean out of the family. But I refuse to be manipulated and lied to by an adult who is living at my house if his own accord. He's capable of doing what he wants to do. We'll see what that really is. Pray for him.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Recent events here at the house have got me reading up on manipulation techniques like lying, playing the victim, and blaming. I've discovered Dr. George Simon, author of "In Sheep's Clothing" and "Character Disturbances.". The quotes below are from his blog at www.drgeorgesimon.com. More fascinating reading can be found at http://counsellingresource.com/.

"Manipulators are often quite skilled in the various ways to decieve, con, and otherwise lie.  One of the most subtle but yet effective ways to lie is lying by omission.  A very skilled manipulator might even recite a litany of very true facts but then (possibly unbeknownst to you) deliberately leave out a key detail that would shed an entirely new light on the reality of a situation.  All of this is done for the purposes of impression management and outcome manipulation."

"The problems associated with disturbed characters might be so engrained that they occur “automatically,” but the disordered character is fully conscious of them.  He knows exactly what’s going on, what he’s doing, why he’s doing it, and even why others consider his behaviors problematic.  Lying is one of the more common of his problem behaviors.  Sometimes the disordered character lies so “automatically” that he lies even when the truth would have done just fine.  That doesn’t mean he doesn’t know he’s lying.  He knows – he just does it so often and readily that he does it without even thinking about it.
   
A fair amount of the time, when disturbed characters are confronted about why they did something hurtful, they will reply:  “To tell you the truth, I don’t know.”  In my experience, this is most always a lie designed to manipulate and impression-manage others as well as to evade responsibility.  “I don’t know” doesn’t  really mean that the disordered character is oblivious to his motivations (i.e. has no conscious awareness of his intent).  Instead, it often means “I’ve never really thought about it;” or “I don’t want to talk about it now;” or “I don’t want to tell you because they you’ll have my number, the con game will be over, and you’ll start holding me more accountable.”

Quiet but Restless

At home this afternoon with 4 kids -
8 yo Mini-Me, 8 yo Termite, my 13 year old son I think I'll call "The Total Package," and a sulking but hopefully contrite 19 yo. Can't seem to get a handle on the day. Got chicken defrosting for dinner. Leaving in an hour to pick up Baby Girl from the movies, take a second stab at getting a heat lamp bulb for the chickens (who knew they came in different sizes?) and pick up Queen Bee from work.

My new buddy, the Secret Pepper Person, had some real-life observations about ADHD meds recently. Concerta made for a nice trip to Walmart today - no holding onto Termite for dear life or constantly telling him to put stuff down. Instead, we walked through the store like(relatively) normal people and talked (yes, actual sentences) about what he wanted to buy. At the rate he is going, I'm hopeful that he will be able to learn to read (or at least be able to write his name by the end of the third grade.). The formation of opinions about the use of ADHD medications should be delayed until after you have had the opportunity to spend the day with a child whose brain wave activity is "markedly abnormal" and who can't pay attention long enough to play.

Friday Checklist

To Do List for Today:

1)  Wash van - check
2)  Make cookie cake for Mini-Me's birthday party - check
3)  Get Powerade for 12 yo Baby Girl with stomach upset - check
4)  Deal with 19 yo who is struggling with making good decisions and telling the truth - pending

Low Maintenance Celebrations: The Birthday Party

Around here, birthdays come in clumps - 3 in the few weeks after Christmas, 4 in late spring/early summer, and 3 in the fall. I usually push the parties for the two January birthdays into February so I get a break from party planning in March, July, and August. I have no desire to plan elaborate parties. I provide the food and, with the right mix of friends, the fun should take care of itself. And, yes, I have reused birthday candles.

My eight year old daughter, Mini-Me, is having her birthday party this Friday. She is delighted to be using my preferred low maintenance/low cost birthday party format - the Friday Night Movie Party. It goes over best for elementary school-aged children but is ONLY low cost if you live in a town with a cheap movie theatre. The local movie theatre here in Small Town has two screens and shows first-run movies at a cost of $6 for adults and $4 for children.

Here's the game plan - 3 of Mini-Me's friends will ride home from school with her on Friday. [Mini-Me self-limited her guest list for reasons unknown. For those of you who don't drive a 15 passenger van like me, the size of your guest list will be limited by the number of extra seats in your car.] Serve ice cream and cookie cake for an afterschool snack. Let them play uninterrupted. REPEAT: Let them play. Resist the temptation to create more work yourself by providing a structured party game or craft. For those you are thinking that I am lazy and that it is the job of every self-respecting mother to provide elaborate party activities, I challenge you to get over yourself and consider the possibility that your children don't have to be entertained by you in order to have a good time. Of course, it's also possible that I am just lazy.

I digress. Around 5:30 pm, feed them a kid-friendly dinner. We will be having Mini-Me's favorite - nachos. Then take the kids to a 7 PM movie. Total cost for movie at Small Town Movies = less than $50 ($22 for 1 adult and 4 kids' tickets plus concessions.). Have parents pick guests up after the movie. Lots of fun and minimal fuss.

I have a theme song

I googled my blog today and found this.  It's my theme song.

Allergic to Mink by Rickey Godfrey

I do wonder about that boy sometimes

My 11 year old, the Boy Wonder, is a piece of work. Most of us have priorities - work, family, school, recreation, and so on. And they rotate - you may focus on one thing now and another later. The Boy Wonder has one absolute top priority - play. All other activities are a distant - make that very distant - second. I doubt that he would starve himself. Though at 60 lbs, it seems that he stops only long enough to fuel up for the next round. Like a pitstop. He usually eats with one leg and buttcheek hanging off the chair.

After church and lunch today, we worked on our chicken coop, newly acquired from our neighbors who are moving into a gated community where farm animals are frowned upon. While my husband and I leveled the coop and the girls painted, the boys headed across the street to round up the chickens. Given what I know about the Boy Wonder, I shouldn't have been surprised when I turned around to find him smiling, holding a chicken, covered in mud and still wearing his Sunday clothes and church shoes. Sigh.

I'm being followed

I'm beside myself. I have a blog follower, and it's the Secret Pepper Society. I better come up with something good to say.

Here's a thought. I'm so proud of my two youngest foster (future adopted) sons. All
I hear from their teachers at school is how well they are doing in school and what a positive change they are seeing in their attitudes and behavior since last year. Makes a foster/adoptive parent want to puff up with pride at what a fabulous mommy job I must be doing. Foster parents hear it all the time, "It takes a really special person to do what you do."

Here's my dirty little secret - I'm not a special person. I'm just a regular mama. I climb on the short bus in my pjs every morning to buckle my kid in. I've been known to yell at my kids. Sometimes I go to church just for the free child care. I am typing this as I sit in the van waiting to pick up my kid after NOT going to her semi-final basketball game in the next county over. One of my lowest moments - stuffing half of a last cinnamon roll in my mouth after getting tired of hearing one kid complain that his half was smaller than his sister's. This same child also went to school today with pants ripped at the knee because they were his last clean pair.

I'll get to the point. Your kids don't need you to be perfect. They just need you. To love them and feed them and make them do their homework and fuss at them when their room is dirty and pretend to listen to them when they are telling you about some video game you care nothing about and hug them and tease them and embarrass them in front of their friends and stand up for them and say, "This is my child and I am his mama."